Drew and I have been married for about five months. We definitely do not claim to know the ends and outs of marriage, but we have learned some things that we think are worth sharing. In our marriage, one of the best choices we have made to promote a healthy, shared life is unplugging ourselves from technology.
During the first month of our marriage, we had internet. We often sat next to each other in bed or on the couch. The room was silent, but our minds were heavily engrossed in our tablets. An entire hour could pass before we acknowledged one another.
For us, we chose to silence the media surfing and switch our habits of mindless numbing to something more productive and worthwhile. We cancelled our internet service, did not subscribe for satellite/cable, and we continued to share an old school flip phone.
As everyone else, when we come home we just want to zone out, so we do. We allow ourselves to lie down and get lost in our thoughts for fifteen minutes or so. The trade off is we are not dumping more junk into our brains from social media, the news, or work emails. We instead allow ourselves to take a few deep breaths and acknowledge and release some of the tension we are bringing in from the outside world. And then, we unload the details of our day to one another. We can ponder our frustrations and celebrate our joys of the day together without allowing everything to build up or go unnoticed.
Our work promotes a space for us to constantly plan, organize, instruct, and correct. There, we can keep up on world and social news. However, our home promotes a space for us to cook, to play and practice music, to delve into art, to venture on walks, to creatively write, and to read endlessly. Here, we can keep up on knowing one another while encouraging a life of purpose and creativity.
By no means am I saying that every couple should do what we do. I am saying that this is what is working for us as newlyweds, and I hope it may be an encouragement to others.